Stereotypes

One concept from the book I’d like to discuss further is stereotypes. According to Trenholm stereotypes are generalized second hand beliefs which provide conceptual biases (2011). Though this topic is pretty general, I think it’s something that deserves plenty of recognition. In our everyday lives we carry biases about almost everything. We may not realize it but we judge everything from people to books, movies or places.
This chapter in Trenholm discusses how people are creatures of habit and that we tend to adapt to our cultural beliefs. Cultural beliefs can also be related to stereotypes. We grow up thinking the way we do because our culture has created distinct ways to look at the world. This is how stereotypes develop. Stereotypes are not bias of culture as they exist everywhere. Again it is due to our natural instincts that we perceive judgments as we are a result of the judgments our cultures create.

Premises Relating to the Judicial System

For the most part I do agree with rationality, perfectibility, and mutability premises. I think they are basic understandings of human development in regards to learning through our mistakes. As human beings we constantly make mistakes, but as we grow we consciously deter away from those mishaps. This would relate to how we discover truth through logic; achieve goodness through effort and control, and act in ways that have been shaped through our environment (Trenholm, 2011).
If I were to incorporate these beliefs into a system I would conclude them to be a part of the judicial system and the individuals who have gone through the processes of. Within the judicial system when someone is being prosecuted they must go through trials to seek their innocence with logical evaluation. For those who have been incarcerated we would like to believe they can achieve decent behavior if they continually make conscious efforts. Lastly, many people who are incarcerated have faced trials of their own through circumstances in their lives which may have been out of their control. Although I relate these premises to the judicial system, they can be practiced among groups of people through out the world as well.

A shocking indifference

I firmly believe that human beings are purely creatures of habit. I grew up in a richly Filipino culture where friends and family kiss on the cheek as a greeting. When my parents divorced we still carried on our traditional greetings even when my mother re-married a Caucasian man. He came from a family where it wasn’t customary to even hug unless you were family or known each other for a long time. When I first met my step-dad’s sister-in-law, I went to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and she pulled away. I was completely embarrassed. It was more than habitual-it was traditional. After that encounter I no longer greet with a kiss unless I know it’s appropriate.
I suppose that my way of greeting was my own traditional “habit” however I have altered it since. This is where I would argue that there is a possibility to change cultural traditions. I think that if you experience a shocking indifference similar to what I did with my step-dad’s sister-in-law there is definitely going to be altercations. I also think that if you’re open to new experiences then one shouldn’t be afraid of different customs.

Onto another topic

One particular topic I would like to discuss is nonverbal messages as complements which “modify or elaborate…” (Trenholm, 2011). Nonverbal signs and cues give an extension of meaning to communication. Sometimes there are instances where we would like to communicate something further without saying anything more than we’d like. There are many ways nonverbal messages can help clarify these feelings and or emotions. For example first dates, job interviews, or even friendly conversation. First dates can always be nerve racking which facial expressions of endearment can come in handy if we are interested in the other. Or perhaps expressions of boredom can be a clear indicator of disinterest instead. Job interviews are tricky also. By keeping a relaxed demeanor we can portray ourselves as being confident instead of nervous. Speaking among friends can take on a completely different role all together. Usually with friends we can be comfortable exhibiting an array of nonverbal actions without feeling judgment. Even when we are completely comfortable we’d like those around us to notice in our demeanor.

Was it something I said?

American culture is very different from Asian culture. I come from an Asian background and I have traveled to Asia. I see many differences in how people communicate versus how people communicate in the US. In general much of the communication styles and techniques are similar, but there are significant differences as well. For instance if someone were to be reprimanded by a parent within the Asian culture, we are taught not to speak or look them in the eye. It would be considered rude and disrespectful. However in the American culture, we are suppose to look our parents in the face as a sign that we are listening. Growing up in the US, I had to distinguish this difference early on while I attended school. I can remember a time when I got in trouble for leaving school campus. The Vice-Principle kept saying “Please look at me” and it felt somewhat odd. She thought I was being defiant, but I was reacting as I always did at home. My mother had to go in and explain it to her. After their conversation she understood better why I was reacting the way I did.

Reading it all wrong

I can recall there was a moment with a co-worker who I thought was upset with me. It was an important week at the school I work for and the school event was quickly approaching. I had been avidly getting things prepared for the class and I asked my co-teacher if she could help hang some decorations. She quickly replied “yes, ok” and walked away. She didn’t return to the classroom for about a half hour so I assumed she was irritated that I asked her. Upon her return we were both very quiet. A couple minutes into the silence she turned to me and said she wasn’t feeling well and had to leave. Apparently she left the room because she was very sick-not upset. I was relieved because I thought I had upset her but she was simply ill. From chapter 5 Trenholm (2011) argues that we should “give proper attention to nonverbal cues”. I should have realized that she wasn’t feeling well and if I wasn’t so intent on getting the classroom ready I probably would have noticed.

Attention please

I find it very difficult to focus at times when listening to certain individuals. Sometimes these individuals are the ones closest to me. As stated from the book we have to be selective of what we pay attention to therefore we screen out most of the sensory data that surrounds us (Trenholm, 2011). I tend to do this often when I am engulfed in a busy workday. I thought this concept from the book aligned with my attitude of communication pretty well. I can recall a number of times when I simply zone out and pay little attention to those who need my attention. I don’t purposely do it. There are just times in the day where I constantly focus on other things that keep my mind occupied. So it is not the lack of interest I find in communicating, it’s the distraction of everyday life that get in the way of normal communication functions including my attention.

FeMale

I do agree that females and males have a different way of communicating. First of all women and men are different emotionally and psychologically. One way to look at it would be how women think. Women tend to attach more emotional feelings to interactions. We also like to think and inquire about everything. On the other hand, I believe with men certain things simply don’t matter. For instance women care if an outfit doesn’t look flattering whereas a man doesn’t typically care if their socks match. However if a women were to ask a man (that doesn’t care about his socks) about her outfit, he will most likely give an undesirable answer. In this case the male simply isn’t interested nor does he feel he has offended. On the other hand the female would probably be upset. It is simply the indifference that males and females share when it comes to processing perceptions and communication strategies.

The Mindful Listener

I personally don’t think it’s possible to perceive others without any sort of judgment. I believe that as we grow we develop pre-judgments about places, things, and “types” of people over time which we can’t seem to avoid. Of course at no fault of our own, we would rather think in one consistent way instead of taking the time to analyze thoughtfully. In the book it is explained as “cognitive misers” or saving our conscious attention for important situations and spend much of our time being mindless. (Trenholm, 2011). Although we can be mindless, we can definitely re-program ourselves to be mindful when need be. Trenholm goes onto explain that “effective listeners know when to rely on familiar scripts, but they also know how and when to switch from mindless to mindful…”. I agree with Trenholm that effective listeners can adapt to be more self-conscious, other aware, and able to shed pre-conceived perceptions to conduct a fair listening environment.